Verbal abuse (also verbal violence or verbal attack or verbal assault; often referred to as psychic violence) is an act of violence in the form of speech that decreases self-confidence and adds to feelings of helplessness.[1] It is "an act that includes rebuking and the delivery of harsh words". [2] Similarly, it has been defined as "an act of insulting, harassing, and labeling someone in a communication pattern". [3]Verbal violence in a concrete form is "the use of harsh words, abuse of trust, embarrassing people in public and threatening in the form of words". In other words, it is "a person's verbal action which includes the delivery of harsh words, insults, scolding, and yelling excessively, as well as giving threats to others". [4] Verbal abuse is the act of forcefully criticizing, insulting, or denouncing another person.[5] Characterized by underlying anger and hostility, it is a destructive form of communication intended to harm the self-concept of the other person and produce negative emotions.[6] Verbal abuse is a maladaptive mechanism that anyone can display occasionally, such as during times of high stress or physical discomfort. For some people, it is a pattern of behaviors used intentionally to control or manipulate others or to get revenge.[7]
Types
In schools and in everyday life, a person may engage in verbal abuse—bullying (which often has a physical component)—to gain status as superior to the person targeted and to bond with others against the target. Usually, the bully knows no other way to connect emotionally with others.[8]
In romantic and family relationships, the verbal abuser may be responding to the partner's "separateness", i.e., independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, expressions (even of happiness) which the abuser views as a threat, irritant or attack.[9] Some people believe the abuser has low self-esteem and then so, attempts to place their victim in a similar position, i.e., to believe negative things about themselves.
Because of the abuser's need for dominance and unwillingness to accept their partner as an equal, the verbal abuser is compelled to negate the perceptions of the partner, about the abuse, which causes more psychological pain to the victim.[6] This is also known as gas-lighting or Jekyll and Hyde-like behavior, because the abuser keeps the target of abuse off-balance with their hot-and-cold unpredictable behavior. This confusion adds to the pain caused by psychological abuse and keeps the victim off-balance.[10]
Anyone can experience verbal abuse. Typically, in romantic or family relationships, verbal abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time.[6] After exposure to verbal abuse, victims may develop clinical depression. The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress-related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target. In addition, children who are victims of verbal abuse may practice abuse on others later on.
Despite the fact that verbal abuse does not leave bruising, verbal abuse can be as detrimental to a person's health as physical abuse.[11]
Elements
Verbal abuse includes the following:[12]
- abusive anger: "aggressive outbursts"
- accusing and blaming
- blocking and diverting
- countering: disputing a "...partner's thoughts, feelings, perceptions and experiences" or arguing "any point or idea"
- denial of anger or abuse
- judging and criticizing
- minimisation, discounting, trivializing
- name calling
- ordering: commanding to show control
- undermining
- threatening
- withholding: refusing "...to share ideas, feelings, intimacy, thoughts and dreams with the partner"
References
- ^ Özgüle, M. (2016). Childrens perception of violence in daily life a qualitative analysis of childrens verbal expressions and stories (Doctoral dissertation, İstanbul Bilgi Üniversitesi)
- ^ Rosenthal, L. J., Byerly, A., Taylor, A. D., & Martinovich, Z. (2018). Impact and prevalence of physical and verbal violence toward healthcare workers. Psychosomatics, 59(6), 584-590.
- ^ Lawson, David M. "Incidence, explanations, and treatment of partner violence." Journal of Counseling & Development 81, no. 1 (2003): 19-32.
- ^ Koller, P., & Darida, P. (2020). Emotional Behavior with Verbal Violence: Problems and Solutions. Interdisciplinary Journal Papier Human Review, 1(2), 1-6.
- ^ "assault", American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (Fifth ed.), Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2016, retrieved 16 March 2018
- ^ a b c The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans. Adams Media Corp 1992, 1996, 2010
- ^ Elgin, Suzette Haden (April 2000), How Verbal Self-Defense Works, retrieved 16 March 2018
- ^ Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You, Patricia Evans pg. 191. 2002 by Adams Media Corp
- ^ Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You, Patricia Evans, Adams Media Corp 2002
- ^ Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them, Susan Foreword, Bantam, 2002
- ^ Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft. Berkley Books, 2003
- ^ When Words Are Used As Weapons: Verbal Abuse, University of Nebraska, Lincoln Extension